I took a step and the water beneath my feet was as firm as solid ground.
I saw this morning a picture of Jesus' foot stepping out onto the water, that first step. The water did not give room to his weight but held him light as a feather. He opened my eyes to show me that when I gave to him without reserve, I gave to him in an act of faith. The act of giving without reservation, is to him, like walking on the water.
Oh, I have been giving for years and years, and some more. If anyone asked me, I would tell them to give as a regular devotion. But over the years, my devotion began to be tried by circumstance and when found wanting or in need, my devotion to God became devotion to myself. I mean, let's be real.
Now, I would never say I whole heartedly turned my devotion to God upon myself. At least, never willingly or with intent. But nevertheless, I did, in this regard. This is what it looks like: outwardly I would give to the purposes of God. However, if when what I did involved the “purposes of God,” I would support my efforts in it. Me, me, me.
And the struggle compounds. When the act of giving is weighed in convenience and later, when not so convenient, the tempter shows up and begins to ask these questions: “Does He not see? Does it matter? Does He care?” I'm telling you the truth.
Know this. If ever your act of devotion becomes like murky waters, it will eventually become like sinking sand. Deeper and deeper, until the mud grabs hold of your foot and the suction will not let you go. My act of devotion to me, for me, “if I-will he? Had to be broken by blind faith.
So I took a step without reservation. I made my offering first and did not consider myself or my budget. Lord, I'm stuck in the mud and have been tempted to doubt you, but today I say, NO MORE, in Jesus name. I'm done with the spirit of doublemindedness. My offering is no longer negotiable. I will give, no holds barred. No more holding back. You say go, I will follow. I am yours and that includes all I have.
Today, I make my offering and give wholeheartedly. I know it's the right thing to do, and I never argued that point. But now I do it as a deeper level of trust. Today, I humbly surrender and make my devotion to you alone, Lord. This curse, this spell, that has only deepened my debt, is broken. It is over. Someone once wrote, "Faith is not hope without proof, but trust without reservations." And now I understand. Faith without reservation is likened to walking on the water, for it will bear the weight of my worries as light as a feather.
